We Shall Overcome

This is a beautiful song by the legendary singer and songwriter Joan Baez. I love the song and the message. Yes "we shall overcome someday" for we are patient and resilient. As Iranians we have endured many injustices throughout the history of our beloved country. However, at the end of each dark period, we overcame any hardships and suffocating situations by pulling together and becoming united.

Yes, indeed "ma pirooz mishim."

Love, love Iran.

A Sad Day

"I write Mousavi
they read Ahmadinejad."

A dark chapter in the history of Iran.


Photo credit:Reuters.com

It Is What It Is

My dears, I am not surprised but I am very disappointed at the outcome of Iran's presidential election. Politics is a dirty, manipulative and complex game. Winner by 62% of the votes?
Still, my hopes and dreams for my country remains the same.

Have a very peaceful weekend.

We Are All In It Together

I hope in the next day or two we will have a new president of Iran.
I hope we get a chance as a country to start fresh again.
I hope we will become more truthful and sincere.
I hope we will become more honest and forthright.
I hope we will become a nation of peace and serenity.
I hope we will become a sovereign nation.
I hope we will feed, clothe, and shelter every person.
I hope we will educate every child.
I hope we will recognize the equality between men and women.
I hope we will honor and respect every religion.
I hope there will no longer be human rights violations.
I hope and dream of a free and democratic Iran.

The road to achieve all that I and the majority of Iranians wish for is very long and seems extremely far. Asides from hopes and wishes for our country, the reality is that the actual power is in the hands of religious leaders. In addition, the three other presidential candidates are far from perfect. However, one or two of them offer a chance to bring safety, dignity, accountability and change to the current situation in Iran. And I do hope from the bottom of my heart that finally, I will be able to say: “bye bye Ahmadinejad.”

Peace

Frazzled

I was walking toward my car when I heard a commotion. There was a young woman yelling at her three children in the parking lot. As I got closer, she seemed besides herself. She told me she didn’t know what to do any more, her children were driving her crazy. "There won’t be anything left of me if they keep this up," she said. The woman was visibly shaking. We exchanged a few words to just make her calm down a little. She said, "You know the problem is that these kids have no respect for us unlike the kids in the past." I walked away, got in the car and drove off. Her pale face stands out in my mind. I've been in those children's position, making trouble for my parents, at least a couple of times that I remember! And I've been frazzled a few times as a mom myself. Now, as a passerby I tried to calm that mom. It takes a calm, cool and collected mother to manage and discipline her children. Is it that the kids are more disrespectful than ever or is it that the parents have given up on disciplining their children?

Have a great weekend!

Mount Everest, Photograph by Thomas Chudalla, National Geographic

From My Kitchen To Yours

A while ago, more like last year, I wrote in one my posts about starting a food blog. Somehow I forgot to mention it again here that my food blog has been up and ruining since last December. So if you are interested in Iranian cooking please check it out here. It is called "Turmeric & Saffron," two of my favorite spices and the two widely used in Iranian cuisines.

Happy cooking!

Graduation

Yesterday, my dear daughter Sara graduated with a bachelor in Pharmacology. The day started at 9:00 in the morning with her department’s graduation ceremony and then the University’s graduation. Everything went smoothly and elegantly. It was a lovely day.

Graduation, packing, saying goodbye to life on campus, moving back home, unpacking and packing again to leave for her summer job in Europe in a matter of days, life is going way too fast. It has not hit me yet that by this time next week she’ll be miles and miles away from home. I think I’m emotionally numb right now. There’s so much to do before she leave that I just follow the “to do list” these days. I’ll probably cry a river when she boards her plane and takes off from the JFK airport. Sara has her whole life ahead of her and these are exciting and wondrous times for her. I wish her all the good things in her new and adventurous life. May all that is good for her come to fruition. However, for the next few days I am just going to look her and SEE her, for she means the world to me.

Happy Graduation Sara!

Living With Lies and Dishonesty

We had another truly beautiful and perfect spring day. The rays of the sun pulled me out to the yard, where I planted a few flowers, trimmed the shrubs and pulled the weeds out. I removed all the dandelions that I could see. They are one of the welcoming signs of the spring. It’s fun to pick them, blow on them and see the tiny flowers fly away in the wind. However, the rest of the plant, its leaves and roots are not so good for the garden. It damages the nearby new growths. So, I am told. As I uproot the dandelions, they remind me of bad relationships/marriages. At the first sighting they bring joy and some cheerfulness. But as the fuzzy ball of flower disperse; the remaining root eats away the healthy green garden.

I remember a day that I was walking with P. in some beautiful garden. We were surrounded by tall trees, colorful flowers, water fountains and children’s laughter at a distance. At some point P. stopped and looked at me, and I noticed her pale skin, trembling body, her tearful eyes and the look of despair all over her face. She told me that she has found out yet again about her husband’s recent infidelity. She told me the details of how and when she found out. This wasn’t his first time that he cheated on her and we she knew it wasn’t going to be his last time cheating on her either. She wanted me to hear her and listen to her with a promise not to tell anyone, especially her parents. She had made a decision of staying with him through his unfaithfulness, the emotional abuse and betrayal. That day, I left that heaven- like park with a heavy heart. As the famous Persian poet Akhavan-Sales says:

Dandelion (ghasedak),
day and night all the clouds in the world cry in my heart.

Shortly after, I left and did not see her since.

I’ve heard and saw bits and pieces of Elizabeth Edwards’s interview with Oprah about her husband’s indiscretions and her new book about it. My heart goes out to her for battling terminal cancer, dealing with her husband’s affair and at the same time trying to keep a home together while raising a family. It is her personal choice to stay married to an unfaithful man who might also have a child with the other woman. I have not read the book and I don’t think I’ll read it any time soon. I believe that the issues of betrayal, unfaithfulness and adultery are worthy of discussions no matter how tender or uncomfortable they might be. I find it very interesting that a woman writes about it, has it published and makes the media rounds. Is it modern day revenge? I wonder what P. would think of this whole thing. Or those women who close their eyes to their husband’s extramarital affairs, and remain married, faithful and loyal. For them, walking out on their marriage is not an option. They were raised to believe that you enter a man’s house with the white wedding gown and leave it with a white burial cloth (kafan). It is a decision a woman has to make, weighing all the options and the obstacles whether she decides to stay in the marriage or call it quits. A woman might stay with a cheating husband due to economic needs, her children, family pressure, cultural demands and perhaps some hopes that he might change this time around.

My question is that why do these women choose to stay with these unfaithful men? Do the dishonest and cheating husbands or the submissive wives ever consider the impact of their behaviors on their young children? At the end it is between a man and a woman to decide how to live their lives, but I feel terrible for all the children who grow up with the issues of betrayal, distrust, lies, dishonesty and helplessness and what that would do to their own relationships in the future. Would it be too radical or insensitive to suggest to the women to take their kids and find the tools necessary to uproot these destructive and humiliating relationships?

Deeply Missed

Today is the first mother’s day celebration without my mother. She is deeply missed and her departure left a hole in my heart. I am grateful for the time that I had with her, for her gentle soul, thoughtfulness, and love. But I have come to accept life as a game of connections and separations with all its joys and sorrows. With her body in the earth, her soul up in the heaven, her sweet memories in my mind, and her love deep in my heart, she is within and around me; therefore I can say “we are together” at all times.

Happy Mother's Day,

Love

My Daughter's Gift

This adorable and artistic creation " love to laugh" pottery is my Mariam's art project made especially for her mom (me!). There are other messages on each sides as well. They read "Solitude--Listen," "Hope," and "Family--Trust-- Unity-- Peace." Sixteen years old and so incredibly thoughtful, it's amazing! When I was her age I knew nothing, zilch, nada, nil and (heech). I am over the moon and sun crazy in love with her and not just because she is my daughter. She is a gift.


Thank you love,

Mom

What Is It All About?

As I put my arms around my dear friend of many years, hugging her and saying my condolences for the loss of her very sweet and angelic mom, many thoughts and feelings glide over me. That’s an all too familiar feeling of loss, the one that once you live long enough there’s no escaping from it and after a while it seems to have become too rampant.

When I lost my parents and my only sister, in addition to feeling terribly sad I also felt awful for their not so easy lives. I couldn’t help but think how much each and every one of them had suffered throughout their lives. Their hardships and heartaches stood out in my mind and kept coming back to wring my heart out, till there were tears no more. Realistically, there’s no one that can dodge being hurt in life, is there? However, at some point most of us come to a realization that we must pick ourselves up and move on.

While I’m thinking and reflecting about the sad departure of loved ones and the people that I’ve known, my focus turns inwards to my own mortality and the unavoidable departure at last. Many thoughts, ideas, hopes and plans come to my mind but at the end I am left with one final thought, or rather a wish, a hope.

I hope that when finally death knocks at my door, whenever that might be that I would have been able to have come up with the best answer to one of my many nagging questions that haunts me from time to time. Before I go I would like to know for myself what this life was all about. If I figure this one out then I can happily rest in peace and all would have been worth it.


Photo Credit: APOD, NASA

Got to be Patient

It all seems like such a bad dream, a never-ending nightmare. We get to wake up from a terrible and frightening dream and feel relieved. However, what is happening now is real and it is not going away with a blink of an eye. We are all experiencing very difficult times and we are all in it together. The grave news of economic down turns, high rates of joblessness, homelessness, and destitution has everyone concerned and worried. On the other hand, there are these horrible news about torture, being beaten to death or suffering in solitary confinement when it’s done for all the wrong reasons. Are there any right reasons justifying how we can almost murder a person to gain some information? What is the difference between a criminal and a law abiding citizen?

It seems that most of the world is taken over by a group of foolish leaders at the top. They rule not only with the iron fist but also with an insatiable hunger for power, money and control. They have gotten us in this big mess we are in today.

What can we do? What should be done? I say not to lose the glimmer of hope that’s left. We can not afford to become indifferent, hopeless and fall into oblivion. We owe it to the next generation and the generations to come. We have to pass on the torch, offer them the planet earth with all its fruits of goodness.

Photo Credit: David Cortner, APOD, NASA

"Yes, We Can" Too

Yes, we can, NOT vote for you again! As much as I try to keep my blog, this tiny corner of my life, peaceful, positive and serene, when I have something on my mind I can't rest till I write about it and get it off my chest. I have a dream and hope that we Iranians inside and outside of Iran collectively, consciously and courageously come together and have this President pack his things and call it quits by the end of his term in June. PLEASE. Hasn’t he done enough damage to our country, our economy and our culture to last us a life time? I don’t get those people who drink their lattes in Starbucks and defend his manipulative and self- serving politics. We can’t afford to have four more years of this disaster. He does not deserve getting even one vote in the upcoming election. It’s time to bid him Good Bye. Hopefully. We can have a "Yes, we can" moment too.

Photo: Kerman, Iran, Fars News

Death on Treadmill…Well, Almost

I’ve always enjoyed long strolls on long tree lined paths or streets. Yet, with the unpredictable weather here sometimes an indoor activity is as good as it gets. However, nothing could ever replace walking in the nature and enjoying the fresh air and the scenery, inhaling oxygen and the spring freshness. But the dull and boring treadmill and the little bit of insane and erratic elliptical will do for the time being. I think I have a built internal mechanism that prevents me from getting too excited and giving in to the frenzy of the external world. Although at times I have fallen into that trap and have caved into that mold to but I usually tend to revert back to my serene and calm state of mind. I remember the days when I worked in Manhattan, where I’d walk hurriedly through the city, zigzagging my way up and down the streets. I used to find waiting a few seconds for red lights the most dreadful waste of time. Yes, I have gotten caught up in the fast pace of life many times but I have always managed to get myself out of it, good or bad frantic and hyper life style is just not for me. I am more of a star gazing, feel the breeze, be and let be, look beneath the surface and be in the moment, rather than of the moment kind of person.

The other day I got on the treadmill as part of my daily routine. I usually set the speed on 3 out of ten; hook up my IPod to its stereo, listen to hip hop, pop and anything of high energy for about an hour. I find this hour of music and exercise very soothing and relaxing. This would give me, a diehard fan of Shajarian and Iranian classical music, a chance to listen to an array of music good for a disco or a dance club. Five minutes into my exercise I decided to raise the volume and pick up a little speed. Somehow, I must have pressed the wrong button and instead of increasing the volume of the music I increased the speed drastically. Quickly I realized the sudden change of pace from a level 3 to a 7, an absolute crazy modification. With my heart racing and my legs going at the speed of light under me (so it seemed), I tried to reverse the situation. However, my body had moved all the way to the end of the treadmill and I was just holding on to the end of the hand rails with my dear life. I thought of jumping off, but you know you can’t when the speed moves you one foot over the other. There has to be a way I said to myself, I’m too young to die anyway and of all places on a treadmill? It would be a tragically funny death. I could see the headline on the local news stand “Woman Dies on Treadmill.” No, this could not happen to me. By now five minutes have passed yet it felt like an eternity. The red emergency button seemed too far to pull, so in pick of fear and desperation before a massive heart attack or a sudden fall onto a fast moving equipment I gathered all my energy or whatever was left of it and threw myself forward on the display screen hitting the stop button repeatedly. It worked! As the machine slowed down to a complete stop, I caught my breath along with a sigh of relief. Saved by a stop button, I get to see another day!

If only we had a special stop button for huge mistakes we make in our lives too. We learn from our wrong mistakes and errors in judgment but a stop lever along the way could save us from the agony of enduring pain and suffering before it’s too late. If we could only push an imaginary red emergency button and stop the process of heading down a path of misery. How many times have we felt we have reached the end of our limits physically, emotionally, mentally and, these days, financially? But isn’t it exhilarating to resurface with a greater joy and a larger appreciation of life?

Life Lessons of Spring Blossoms

Today feels like how a spring day should feel, sunny, bright, and mild with a gentle breeze. I had a chance this morning to go outside and prepare the garden for gardening. These past two weeks have been somewhat hectic and I have been a little under the weather. All is well though. My oldest daughter Sara is in Hawaii enjoying her spring break with her best friends. She texted me the other day saying she looks as red as a lobster. And my other daughter Mariam has a much needed week off from school. The pressures and the heavy loads of 11th grade are getting to her. All I can offer to her is saying “do the best you can.” Soon these difficult days become a distant memory and there is light at the end of the tunnel. For some of us school becomes a torture chamber with its long hours, goofy teachers, outdated textbooks, useless information and rigid rules. I know exactly how my daughter feels. I used to beg my mother not to send me to school when I was her age. Going to school was an agony for me back then. I believe these twelve years of schooling is a foundation of education but it lacks creativity and inspiration. In comparing the then and now and also there and here, I see that much has not changed and much is not that different.

I beg to differ with the book that suggests all we need to know we have learned in kindergarten. Even though, personally I have learned a lot in preschool and kindergarten that is not nearly enough of what we need to know. Not even close even if you add the twelve years of learning towards getting a high school diploma. Let’s add to them the four years of undergraduate and the two years of master’s degrees (four years part-time). We become trained and educated in one particular area of specialty but then what? We may get jobs in the area we like, earn a living and then what? Hopefully, meet the person of our dreams, settle down and start a family, is that all there is to life?

So on this gorgeous spring day I look at the ground in my backyard, where I notice the fresh new sprouts, blossoms and green shoots everywhere. I marveled looking at them, totally awestruck. Their seeds and roots have been in the ground all winter long, waiting patiently to flourish. There is the message each and every time telling us to wait out the dormant, freezing climate, long nights and the short and faint sunny days. Showing us to sustain and thrive against the beatings of the harsh wind. To patiently wait while buried deep in the heart of the dirt and soar as the warmth and the rays of sunshine of the new season approaches.

I rely on you, fragrant and colorful blossoms, to be there, bringing joy to our hearts year after year. You spring blooms are great teachers, teaching us about hope, renewal, serving our purpose in life, living to our fullest potential and to never ever give up amidst the harsh happenings in our surroundings. You little hyacinth, tulips and pansies teach us to be true to the depth of the seeds within us no matter what challenges we face on our path. The lessons we learn by just looking in depth at new blooms fresh out of the ground are worth more than months of cramming books.

To kojaie?

Where are You?
So I can mend Your charogh,
and comb Your hair,

wash Your cloak,
and bring You milk,

kiss Your little hand,
rub Your little foot,
and sweep Your tiny home.

Moses and the Shepherd, Masnavi II: 1720-1749

Book of Masnavi by Mowlana/Rumi

- Simplified and modified translation of one small part of the poem.

Charogh, Photo Credit: Morteza Elyasi, Zanjan, Iran, Fars News Agency

A Moment of Panic

This past Friday afternoon Mariam, my youngest daughter, went to stay with her sister at her college dorm. With this being Sara’s last semester at college before her graduation in a couple of months and the fact that Mariam had never stayed there overnight before, this seemed like a good idea. This would’ve provided the needed time for more bonding between sisters and some alone time together. It worked out well and they both enjoyed it. I had some alone time too, since this is the first Persian New Year without mom and I was more into my solitude and time to reflect. It went smoothly till the following drama happened.

The following Sunday afternoon Sara called me to tell me, that since I was driving, to pickup Mariam up from her campus and get her some stuff like frozen yogurt and sorbet. She also said that she was walking to the ATM machine to get some cash so they could order some takeout sushi for dinner. I said I’ll pick up the things she wants, we both said goodbye and hung up.

Less than five minutes went by when my cell phone rings again, it’s Sara.
Me: hello…hello….allo…olla… Sara?
There’s no response on the other end.
Hello Sara?
Sara? What did you call for?

I said to myself perhaps she is talking to one of her friends and she’d put me on hold. But I could hear the outside noise in the background. I got a bit annoyed and thought of hanging up. Then, I thought to myself that she has never called me and not said anything for five minutes. Then I remembered her saying that she was getting some money from the ATM machine. That’s when my heart skipped a bit and I thought she must want to say something but she can’t otherwise why wouldn’t she hang up the phone. Now, my mind started racing and different scenarios went before my eyes.. I tried to listen to the background noise so intently to see if I could pick up something that would explain the situation. The sounds would fluctuate; get higher and lower with no particular distinguishable words. I pressed the phone closer to my ear and that’s when I (no kidding) heard something that sounded like someone’s saying help! Help!

Immediately, I ran and handed the phone to her father and said I think Sara is in trouble, she called me but isn’t able to say a word, you try to talk to her, stay on the phone with her, while I call Mariam.

I get on the phone with Mariam to go ask for help from other girls, her suitemates, campus security, her response is: Are you serious? I said yes. Go. Sara’s in trouble. Then I find the number to the campus police and made the call:

Me: Hi, my daughter called me like ten minutes ago, she is still on the phone but isn’t saying anything, she was going to the ATM, and something must have gone wrong.
He replies, (sounding like one of the guys from The Sopranos) your other daughter is on the phone too. Which ATM did she go to?
Me: I don’t know…
Police Officer: There are fifteen ATM machines on the campus.
Me: I have no idea which one she uses. I don’t know…
Police Officer: Where does she live?
Me: Hum, hum, I draw a blank, nothing, no name comes to my mind, I don’t know…
Police Officer: Give me her name, we’ll go looking for her.

As I’m saying her name, I hear my husband in the other room saying it’s Sara on the phone, Sara, are you O.K?

He hands me the phone and I ask the same thing. She says, “Yea…why? What’s up?” I ask her to hold on while I thanked the campus security. I get back to Sara asking what went wrong, what happened, why wouldn’t she talk to me for ten minutes while on the phone? She very nonchalantly and calmly says, “Well, it must have hit the last number I dialed when I dropped the phone in my bag.” I reply, “What! You gave me a heart attack and I imagined all sorts of things happening but I am very glad you’re alright.”

Later on when I picked up Mariam, I found out that while having sushi they had a good laugh with tears rolling down their eyes at my expense for having gone nuts.

This note is for my daughters if they happen to read this, that I know I may be a little over zealous, passionately involved, and madly in love with you guys to the point that I may embarrass you at times. But if this were to happen again, know that I wouldn’t hang up on you and would call every person I could to find out if you’re O.K.



Photograph by Chris Johns, National Geographic Magazine

Samanoo

Ooops! In a rush to get everything ready for the Haft Seen table for Nowruz at the exact time of “sal-e tahvil” I left out one of the seven seens(S). I had two bowls of homemade Samanoo tucked away in my refrigerator that was given to me by these two sweet ladies that I know. I must have been preoccupied with the thought of not having fresh spring flowers (laleh or sonbol) that I had totally forgot about this important item, a must have in my opinion!

Therefore, Samanoo gets to have its own post today. I think there was also a much needed reminder/lesson that sometimes we may be thinking about other things and meanwhile we neglect, overlook or forget altogether what we have and what we should be thinking about. I exhaust myself in that regard. Any how here’s my belated Samanoo appreciation and recognition.

Samanoo:

Like the other items on the haft-seen table Samanoo starts with the letter “S,” obviously. It is a sweet paste or pudding made of new sprouts of wheat germs. It takes about twenty- four hours to make an authentic delicious and gorgeous color Samanoo. The sweetness comes from the new wheat sprouts and there’s no sugar added. As for the meaning and the symbolism, it has been said that it symbolizes affluence and prosperity. You see why I couldn’t leave out such an important symbolic item on my haft-seen during this disastrous global economic meltdown.

May the New Year bring prosperity to every home and make the hearts of many a little more cheerful.

Happy Nowruz 1388

Today is the first day of spring.
I wish you all a very
healthy
happy
prosperous
and peaceful year to come.

Happy new day and happy spring.

As you can see hyacinth and tulips, the typical spring flowers, are missing in these photos. I couldn’t find any in the flower and gardening shops near me. It’s very strange. This has never happened before. If I happen to find any of these plants in the next couple of days I’ll update these pictures. There has to be a hyacinth (sonbol) somewhere on that table.

Peace, love and blessings